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KLSTRFK getting someone cremated

Uncle Dukey

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I got on Facebook and saw my old buddy’s sister relay her fetch story-



Update.... Will start from the time we got there. Not all pleasant so you may not want to read. Will be lengthy. Mia and I got to Mex., Mia had a passport, I did not. It was our turn to go up to them and have them check our documentation. Mia went they were looking at her passport. I had to go to a different person because I did not have one. I went to the other person, then she tells me you need to go see the guy over there. He asked for my passport and I tell him I don't have one. He said you need one to get into Mexico. I said my friends that are waiting for me said I didn't need one. That I could use my birth cert.. and my D.L. He said your friends are wrong. He proceeds to ask me why I was here and I told him to have my brother cremated and bring him home. He said you need to go in this other room. He takes my D.L. and says i'm putting you in the system and a warning and not to come back to Mex without a passport. I told him don't worry, I'm never coming back. Mia finds me and tries to go in. He told here she needs to go around the corner and wait. Mia's thinking WTH are they gonna do to her. He finally lets me go. We go into Mex and Jeff's friend and her mom were waiting for us, what a relief. We get to the morgue Tues. morning and I fill out the paperwork. EVERYTHING is in Spanish. Lucky Jeff's friends can speak Spanish and English. So she has to translate to me what they are saying. I fill out the paperwork, and we were supposed to see him, but because they were running behind they said if I was asked how I saw or identify Jeff. They told me to say I saw a pic of him and wanted me to lie . Otherwise it could have taken hours longer. They told us it would all take place all in 1 day.
And then from there we go to the Civil Dept. to pick up Jeff's belongings they have. So one of Jeff's friends is with me inside an office, and the other with Mia in the waiting room. Mia refused to look a picture. So they are asking Jeff's friend how I knew it was my brother, I respond I saw a picture (remember they did not show me one). She proceeds to ask well how did you recognize him? This point i'm like oh shit. I said his hair. So the detective or whoever he was came in and showed us several pictures of Jeff. He also went in the waiting room to show my sister and his other friend. Mia refused to look at it. Jeff's friend looks at them. So after the detective comes in the room and gives me a glove to look thru his belongings they have in a zip lock bag. I said why do I need a glove he says because it was in his pocket and it has his body fluids on it. Has his Colorado D.L., his CA ID and some stuff in his wallet. I said it doesn't have money in it. He says kinda with an attitude he didn't have any. I said I was just asking.
After that we went to the cremation place where they prepare all the necessary paperwork for the cremation only. And then they said the paperwork had to go to the civil dept for review and approval to get the permit to prepare for the cremation process. Then Jeff's friend had to go to the mortuary 3 different times because they kept making mistake on the necessary paperwork for the cremation.
We left and they said everything should be taken care on Tues late afternoon. Then we got a call back around 12:30 because Jeff's and my birth certificate needed to be transcribed to Spanish. So we drove back to get both birth cert to get transcribed. And had to be back by 3:00 so we could be on schedule to get it done Tues. Then we went looking for about 45 min to have some transcribe them. We found a person and she said it would take 20 minutes and cost $45.00. So we wait around for for an hour, we called her multiply times to see when she would be done. She finally answers and says 5 more min. Finally she is done at 2:45, were waiting in the car and she comes out with it and says it will cost us and extra $5.00 because she rushed it, and put it before another client. So our friend drives live a maniac to get there by 3:00. And I tell here remember i'm in the system with a warning. We make it. Then they us it was to late and they took someone else. But it should be done Wed morning for me to sign and finish the process and sign all necessary documents. Told us to go back Wed morning to sign documents. So Jeff's friend friends family, told us don't worry you can stay with us. They were awesome. Made us great Mexican food. And made us less stressed out. Slept got up next morning and went back. Went back to the cremation place (paperwork part), back and forth between the morgue and the cremation paperwork part. We left said it would be ready and would start by 3:00. We got a call back the paperwork was wrong AGAIN. We went back to find out Jeff's birth cert they would not accept because it had read decease across it. She asked why it said deceased we explain we didn't have a copy of his birth cert we had to have it expedited from Ohio because we did not have a copy of his birth cert. We explained that they do that because of identity theft. She said it didn't matter and should not say deceased. Finally while she was talking with someone else and they said they would check. But, meanwhile I need to have my drivers license transcribed to Spanish. The lady said she would accept it finally. But it's to late to get him started, so come back Thurs morning at 9:00. And all paperwork should be done and for me to sign. So we stayed another night with the same family. We did not bring extra clothes because we were told the process would take 1 day. Thurs morning we went back at 9:00 and I signed the paperwork. They said everything was good but they would submit the paperwork to the Civil Dept. and it should be about 11:00 to start the cremation. And I said are you sure this time? They said yes. They brought Jeff's body over and warned me it didn't look like Jeff because the body was already unnoticeable. She asked if we wanted to view the body and it smelled really bad. I said I would view the picture, and Jeff's friends went to make sure it was him and both came back crying saying that it was him but the body looked unnoticeable. One friend actually took pictures because she was so upset how the body looked. All of the body fluids were leaking from the body.
She told us we could leave because it would take 3-4 hours for the process and should be done by 3:00-4:00 and everything should be taken care of and not to worry. We went to eat and did a little walking around to get our minds off it. They we get a phone call at 2:30 to find out there's another problem. And would not give the permit because my birth cert and my D.L. did not match, and asked us to come back and explain it. Told them it's my married name. Meanwhile speaking to Randy he said get a copy of your marriage cert. Greg text it to Mia. We went back to the civil dept to explain why my birth cert didn't match my license. Then they explain that over there they keep their last name. Then found out the paperwork had to be all redone because half was Tonya **** and the other half said Tonya ************All the paperwork had to be redone again. Meanwhile while I was waiting, Mia and Jeff's friends went to find a place to get the marriage cert printed from the text message.. They came back and came back with it. They said it had to be transcribe in Spanish and cost another $31.00. Also, the paperwork had to be redone to reflect the changes. Also, they needed explanation why Jeff's birth cert. said deceased again. She told us we had to go back to the cremation place to have all the names match on the documents. And could not be completed by the time they closed. We asked to talk to a manager of the civil dept. But, we had to wait for awhile because they were having a going away party for an employee. Had the mariachis singing at the party. Finally one lady came and brought us to a back room where there was another lady. They talked to us and explained they would not be able to complete the process today because there was not enough time before they closed. We all started arguing with the ladies. I said this is f'ing bullshit and walked out. Mia and another friend were arguing with the ladies how bad the body looked and that was not right what they were doing to him was not right. You could not recognize him and they left him out of the freezer or where ever they kept him for several days. The lady had a puzzled look on her face. Like she knew something was wrong. She apologized and said that had nothing to do with their dept. She said we had to complete the paperwork and we left. Then we left got down the street, they called us back and told us to come back and was gonna help us. We went back. Had about 5 of their employees stay until it was completed and permits were given. At that time they took a picture of the completed permit and sent it to the crematory. Said the process would take 3-4 hours which would bring it to 8:00. If the process was completed by 8:00 we would be able to pick him up and head home.Went back to their house again, got a phone call at 9:00 that it would take a couple more hours because the body was leaking to much fluid and it was making it difficult for the cremation process. They said we would have to pick up Friday morning st 8:00.
We went to pick him up and bring him home FINALLY. Then to come find out that they almost didn't release the body for cremation because of the shape the body was in. They are going to open up and investigation because of the condition on the body. But, because Yolie took pictures of the body and all the fluids leaking out they were going to use the photos and a declaration from here on the condition of the body. They are going to investigate the wrong doing of the morgue, and the cremation facility and how they treated the body.

Then we are excited to finally able to come home. Finding out we had to take a longer way back thru Tecate because of the fires. At one time we had fire on the side of us (Scary). Then I kid you not we were on the hwy, thank God we were going slow. There was a tire store on the side of the road. The wind lifted up 1 tire and brought across the road right in front of our car. Good thing we were going slow and were able to avoid it. Then Yolie says, Jeff doesn't want to leave Ensenada. Sorry Jeff, your coming home and part of you will always be there.

Coming back to the states walking to the boarder was easy.

Thank you Yojana  and Mota E  for all your help. There is no way we could have done this without you. Jeff has some great friends. We wish we could have met all of you. We were just emotionally, and physically drained.
Yojana’s, husband Rudy and mom Reyna took us in like family. Here mom made us great Mexican food. Jeff has friends polar opposites. One that is CRAZY and one that is more laid back. You both know which one i'm talking about. If I forgot anything you both can add to it. No wonder Jeff loved Mexico. Tell Rudy he has to watch his sports alone.


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Sounds typical for really any official process in Mexico e.g. dying, getting residency status, bank trusts, courts, lawyers, etc.  The levels of incompetence and complete nonsense always seem to be off the charts.  But it is what it is.  A old family friend of my dads had his wife die in a scuba accident in Sonora and they decided to roll her body up in some blankets and a tarp and put her on top of the RV and high tailed it back to Arizona and called the cops once they were across the border.  They knew the bureaucratic cluster that awaited had they called the red cross and the authorities.

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My mom told me the old man and his friends rolled a guy who’d died while fishing in carpet and tied it to the roof of the car to come back. Qué Lastíma

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